I have a huge problem. My body is one big itch fest. It is as if I rolled around in poison ivy, poison oak and stinging nettle all at the same time. Ross and I just got back from the grocery store where we spent about $30 in various forms of anti-itch cream. I would like to say that it looks like I have hives or something but no, instead of there being some bumps that explain my problem instead my body is just silently screaming "itch me!"
3 comments:
Wow! I hardly know where to begin on this one. Itching sounds like a personal problem to me, but if you want to share those kinds of details with the world, I will gladly comment. As a "doctor" I can tell you that itching can be caused by all sorts of freaky things. I like to think that maybe you are about to shed your skin like a snake. If you do, Ross can roll up that shed skin and take it in for show-n-tell. Once your molting process is complete you new skin will be shiny and vibrant. Women in Beverly Hills pay a fortune to have this done professionally, but you can get the same results from some good scratching. I suggest getting one of those handy back scratchers that you used to be able to win at the carnival. A word of caution to Ross: molting reptiles can be quite aggressive and dangerous and I'm sure Kitty will be no different. You might want to keep your distance for a while.
Hey Itchy McGee,
Do you continue to have cat-scratch fever? Inquiring minds want to know. I once saw on Oprah a guy who invented a salve called Boudreaux’s Butt Paste (no, I'm not kidding). It was created to treat diaper rash, but he claimed it would sooth any of your external ailments. I think you should give it a try.
Ross, are you the "itch" model? If so, you need to request a refund from your hair stylist :) j/k.
I'm guessing you had a bad reaction to the fruit fest. I hope you're itch free now.
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