Happy New Year!

2011 was full of change. I couldn't of predicted a bigger game changer than the birth of Henry.  I love him - even when he makes me wake up in the middle of the night. I love his gross diapers. I love him when he is fussing. But I especially love him after a good sleep and when he smiles. My whole year of 2011 was pretty much all about him. And now 2012 - I have no doubt it will continue to be all about him.

That being said - I love a new year. I love what it represents. The fresh start. The renewal of life. The opportunity for reflection on the past and the hope for the future. With the new year and this little fake maternity leave of mine I have been thinking a lot about - well, everything. It is a blessing and a curse - thinking so much. And of all things to be thinking about - I've been thinking about "Survivor." In particular, the reality tv show's season finale. All the contestants briefly spoke but I was struck by Dawn, the BYU Professor and mother of six, who said something like, "Being on Survivor was a dream of mine - a dream I pretty much had no right to even have." I loved hearing this because it has forced me to think about my own dreams and even evaluate what dreams I may have quashed thinking that I had no right to have them. This year I want to re-evaluate those dreams and see if maybe I'm ready to believe in myself enough to have them.

I have long loved Marianne Williamson. I was first introduced to her by a yoga teacher when I lived in Kansas City. I remember her quoting a passage and just being overcome by it's beauty and simplicity. Ms. Williamson's most famous passage and one that is particularly fitting for this post is this:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

And with that . . . bring on 2012.

*and because this is a somewhat serious/personal post - here is a picture of Henry at 1 month - he really does look as if someone peed in his cheerios - this is proof of his fussing - even when he has absolutely NOTHING to fuss about

(this picture is especially for Naomi)