I admit it. Every Saturday morning I look forward to going to the gym so that I can watch American Gladiators while on the treadmill. I was thrilled that this was coming back to tv. I mean it really is awesome. Probably the most awesome thing about it? The names of the Gladiators - names like "Justice", "Stealth", "Wolf", "Militia" and "Mayhem." I am tempted to start calling Ross something like "Thor" just for the fun of it. If I was a Gladiator I think I would have my name be "Temptress" because that would be awesome . . . and ridiculous. Toddcat's name would be "Toddcat" (kind of like Thunder Cat from He-man).
16 comments:
Ryan is going to be really devastated, because he was really looking forward to posting something about American Gladiators. My loyalties are really being tested here.
Also, my name would be "The Lintiminator". Ryan's would be "Mr. Tighta**" and the Goose's would be "Goosatron".
American Gladiators is generating all kinds of buzz! My office was talking about it yesterday and someone had the GALL to say that he did not like that show. How can you not enjoy watching larger-than-life (or perhaps I should say, "larger-than-anyone-should-be (or can be without significant steroid use)-in-life") half-dressed wondermen and wonderwomen beat up on the comparatively puny adventure-seeking soul. It is a sure hit! I'm so glad it's back.
I think Ross' name could be Mullet. I don't think he could grow a mullet as awesome as the gladiator in the picture, but I'm sure he could grow a respectable one. I think he would really like it...business in the front, party in the back. The ole Kentucky waterfall. The Mississippi mudflap. He should at least give it a shot and post pictures so the rest of us can judge. Then when he gets tired of having a mullet he can get it cut down to a nice rat tail.
P.S. Lindy, those names are AWESOME!
A nice rattail would really compliment Mullet's face. I think you're on to something Todd.
Lindy - let's face it the Goosatron would be no match for anyone - maybe if it comes to stinky diapers.
I think we should give a name for Jill and L-Nic since they never comment. Let's see - L-Nic could be "Britney Spears" because that is as frightening as they come. I don't know about Jill. I just don't know.
KT I think your name should be "The Succubus" it has a higher-brow sound which might draw in the right demographic for you. My name could be "The Paulinator" although that has a completely different connotation.
This just in - I spoke with the infamous Jill last night and she suggested her name be "Jill the Pill" I think that fits. I really do. Let's see - I'm going to come up with more names. I think for Abby it could be something like "Literature Lives" completely ridiculous.
Oh nice, KTC. Nice. I tried to keep my comments G-rated and to avoid pointing out to the whole world that you only wanted to be the "Temptress" so that you could wear only half a shirt, like the girl in the front of that picture. We all know the Temptress would have to be extremely scantily clad to fit with the persona. But with that unnecessarily harsh and unprovoked attack on my perfectly normal affection for good literature -- I'm telling the world.
Also, I would not be "Literature Lives" -- I would be the Siren. I'm not going to explain that either. You'll have to look it up--although, you would know why I chose it, if you believed in reading.
Abby - I get your Odyssey reference. However, those women are just downright annoying - even if they do eat the faces off of men (poor men who are so silly). The name "Temptress" is awesome but let's face it, with those Chinese bruises on my back no one wants to see my half-shirted. No one.
I vote a name for Lily - the MOTTSTER (I am also partial to MOnTSTER because it would be a play on names).
Kitty, you can't be the Temptress in a half-shirt and spandex shorts. You are far too modest to dress like those muscley harlots. No, I see you fighting in a terry cloth bath robe with your hair wadded up atop your head. And we would call you Napster because you are famous for being able to take a nap anywhere, even on the boat to Morocco. Although I have to admit that I do like The Morg's suggestion of calling you "The Succubus". I don't know what it means, I jsut like it.
I have always hated American Gladiators. First of all, they are really gross to look at. Second of all they have weird clothes (which really goes with my first reason for hating them). Third of all, watching people fight is gross. We already have football, why do we need another sport?
However, I do love their hairstyles. I agree with Toddcat and Liminator that Mullet would look really good with a rat tail.
I need to set the record straight about my name. It would not be Jill the Pill--it would be Jill the Thrill.
And I talked to Abby last night, and she told me her R-rated name = [Literary] Seduction! She said it, folks, not me. (As the brackets indicate, I added "Literary" myself.)
Lily should absolutely be the Mottster (no N). L-Nic should be the Sickle[s]. (I added that "s" so it could rhyme with her name, if you want.) L-Nic, if you are out there, I just wanted you to know that I am free if you want to start a tag-team American Gladiator team. We could be the Hammer and Sickle. Let me know.
Nice. I still remember the American Gladiators of yesteryear...I always wanted one of those super nerf bazooka thingies they had, and I wished for a zipline too.
The Mottster. I like it well enough, but I think the "The" is crucial, or else it just sounds like what Mr. Mott's little league coach would shout out onto the field.
I wish "Siren" and "Temptress" and "Seduction" sounded more STRONG, like the gladiators. Although maybe each person should be named after some type of performance enhancer (or "entertainment enhancer" as I think Stephen Colbert coined). Let's be honest, are those muscles humanly possible?
Confession: Mr. Mott and I were watching an episode of the old cartoon "Cops" the other day (how embarrassing). One of the villains' name is "Miss Demeanor." I'll admit I kind of like it...
The Hammer and Sickle. Now THAT is power and strength. We'll put it on your luggage, ladies.
Jill the Pill, you have wronged me! Seduction and Temptress are practically the same thing and, although I am pretty much a KTC-wanna-be (and who wouldn't be? she is, after all, the coolest girl in the world), I would never try to muscle in on her Gladiator name. I'm sticking with Siren.
P.S. Hammer and Sickle is AWESOME. L-Nic, I hope you're listening.
Those American Gladiators are a big bunch of wusses. Yes, that's right....wusses. I say we all get geared up in fancy spandex coustumes and big hair and have an all out battle in an Ultimate Fighting cage. Those guys are tough. They don't need any weapons other than their fists and feet and no one wins until the others are dead or at least pretend to be by lying down, closing their eyes, and hold their breath. That is the kind of fighting we need to be doing.
PS- When is the last time we had a Coolest Girl in the World competition? Kitty could have a successor and we don't even know it. She doesn't even appreciate her title anymore. I mean, when was the last time any of us saw her wear her CGITW sash?
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